Report Cards After Divorce

It's that time of year again - report cards!  It would be wise to talk with your ex ahead of time to coordinate on rewards for your child's grades.  After divorce, people sometimes overlook discussions like this, but it is important to your child -- no matter how much he or she may pretend otherwise.  At least have the discussion and try to reach agreement on the rewards to be given your child for each A and B on the report card.  A word of advice: focusing on the positive - giving generous rewards for good grades - is much more effective than punishing for bad grades.
 

I Want A Divorce - What Do I Do First?

You have made the important decision - you want to file for divorce. Now what do you do? According to Margaret Klaw, you should meet with an experienced divorce lawyer for at least one hour.  Internet research is not a substitute for this.  Bring as much information as you can compile on your income, your debts and your assets.  Make a list of information about your children - their full legal names, dates of birth and social security numbers.  This is just the starting point, the first thing you should do.  After meeting with a divorce lawyer, you will then need to decide what you will do next.  This is a big change in your life, and should be approached carefully and with good advice.

To read Margaret Klaw's article, go to
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/05/29/how-to-divorce-how-do-i-f_n_1504192.html?utm_hp_ref=divorce&ir=Divorce

Stop Marrying the Wrong People

They say even a blind hog can find an acorn now and then. So why can't some people ever find good spouses to spend their lives with? Why is it that so many people who are very good at many other things, are lousy at choosing the people they marry?

In my years as a divorce lawyer, I have noticed that the people who are "hopeless romantics" tend to fall in and out of love (and divorce court). On the other hand, the people whose relationships would never be fodder for a romance novel often get married once and stay married to that same person for the rest of their lives.

So how do you make sure you have a marriage that lasts? Simple. Treat it like buying a house. Have a thorough inspection. This means going for marriage counseling and thoroughly exploring your compatibility and the reasons both of you want to get married. If the proposed relationship passes this inspection, then go for it - and then you can enjoy the romance part without worries.

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ed-housewright/after-two-divorces-ill-ne_b_1033704.html?ref=divorce

Family Law Judge Who Beat Teen Daughter With Cerebral Palsy

Apparently the Texas Family Law judge who beat his daughter who has cerebral palsy will not even face criminal charges. Reportedly, in 2004 Judge William Adams beat his then 16 year-old daughter with a belt. His daughter, who has cerebral palsy, suffered a vicious beating at the hands of her irate father, whose behavior was encouraged by the child's mother. The parents divorced several years afterward. The beating was all caught on video. He will not face criminal charges because the beating took place in 2004, and in Texas there is a 5 year statute of limitations on causing injury to a child. Both parents have come out with excuses for their behavior, and neither one shows any remorse - but the issue remains - is this acceptable behavior, regardless of their attempted justifications? And should a person like this be a Family Law Judge sitting in judgment of other parents and families? Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/03/judge-william-adams-video-beating-daughter_n_1075284.html

Divorced But Still Involved With Your Ex?

People often have a difficult time moving on with their lives after divorce. Some areas are easier than others. When you are living in separate places, many daily interactions cease. But financial interaction can continue, if there is child support, spousal support, or if you are dealing with assets, such as selling a house. Emotional interaction can continue, either out of habit, or because of continuing to communication about the children or other remaining issues. What many people do not realize is how often people continue to have a sexual relationship with each other after divorce. This is not playing with fire - this is playing with dynamite. Without even getting to possibility of pregnancy, STDs, and the emotional carnage to you and your ex - what do you think this does to the children? They are not stupid. They will know it is happening. Don't put them through this emotional catastrophe. It will confuse and hurt them. It might build up their hopes that the two of you will get back together. Or it could cause them to lose all respect for you. Sit down, think things through, and set new boundaries for your new life.

5 Best Ways To Prevent Divorce

What are the Top Five Ways To Prevent Divorce? Some are obvious - others are a little surprising. One - both spouses need to be thrifty. When one or both spouses are careless in spending, the divorce rates shoot up. Two - when both spouses have a job, their divorce rates plummet. And their frequency of sex goes up when they both have jobs. Speaking of sex - the third way to prevent divorce is to have sex with your spouse (and only with your spouse). You would be surprised how many married couples go for months and even years without having sex. Fourth, spend time apart. I know, it seems to contradict #3, but it really doesn't. Achieve a good balance of time together and time apart. If you spend too much time together, you will begin to bore each other. And five, frequently do small, positive things for your spouse. For more information, ideas and suggestions, see this article.

How Many Divorcing Couples Want To Save The Marriage?

You would think that by the time people get to the point of filing for divorce they are done with the marriage, no questions asked. Apparently, that is not true, for a surprising number of couples. Many couples responded in a survey that they would be willing to participate in reconciliation services if they were offered through the court. Perhaps the phrase - "It's not over until it's over" should have an addendum - "... and sometimes, not even then." For more information, read here.

Think You Know How Your Kids Feel About Your Divorce? Think Again.

Do you think you know how your kids feel about your divorce? Not so fast. Read here for helpful information on how kids really feel about their parents' divorces - about the conflict, the rules, the two households, and about parents putting the kids in the middle. It's a real eye-opener.

7 Tips For a Civilized and Child-Centered Divorce

As a practicing divorce lawyer, I frequently see parents so obsessed with fighting during their divorce that they do not notice how much they are hurting their children. Each parent will have an excuse - really, a justification - for their behavior, and it is always the other spouse's fault of course, never theirs. Some people who are ordinarily perfectly normal act like spoiled brats during their divorces. When this happens, it is the children who really suffer. Read here for 7 tips on having a civilized and child-centered divorce. These include: use of therapy, talking to your children and reassuring them of your love, modeling the behavior you want to see in them,remembering that the money you don't spend on litigation costs can go into their college accounts, and much more. You CAN do this, and your children deserve it.

It's A Dogfight - Over The Dog, In A Divorce

You think you have heard it all? Well, sit down. A divorcing husband and wife are fighting each other over custody of their dog. It seems the wife moved out and left one of their two dogs behind. When the other dog died, the wife filed papers in court to get this dog from the husband. Want to read the juicy parts? Here they are.

Singer Arrested on Stage for $420,000 Unpaid Child Support

Stevie B., the singer best known for his #1 Billboard hit "Because I Love You (The Postman Song)" from 1990, was recently pulled off the stage during a performance and arrested. He is accused of not paying his child support - in the amount of $420,000! How do you get away with it that long? I would probably get arrested if I littered. $420,000??? For more information, see this article.

Yes, Sex Life Can Predict Divorce, But With A Twist

You would think the frequency of sex and intimacy would be an important factor, but this study shows, surprisingly, it is not. Satisfaction with sex and intimacy was a much better predictor of whether the couple would divorce than frequency. For men, sexual satisfaction decreased the likelihood of divorce by about 83%, and was the single most important factor in predicting divorce. For women, satisfaction was important, but no more so than satisfaction with the overage quality of the marriage. The funny thing is, couples don't have to be on the same page with this. In other words, a couple can wildly disagree on their level of satisfaction with the sex and intimacy in the marriage, and that disagreement does not make them any more likely to divorce than a couple who agree on the levels of satisfaction.