Vacations After Divorce

It's time to be thinking about when and where you will go for vacation this year.  If you are divorced with children, that usually means you will need to consult your child custody plan and your former spouse as part of your summer planning.  Sooner is better than later.  Don't make plans and pay deposits until you are certain.  Early communication and good planning make prevent your vacations from being ruined after divorce.

Don't Shut Your Child Out After Divorce

Going through divorce can be a traumatic, stressful experience.  It is human nature to build some walls to protect yourself so you don't get hurt again.  When you do, be careful your walls don't put your child at a distance.  Your child needs you now more than ever.
 

Is It Divorce Time Or Just January Blues?

January and September usually see a huge upspike in the number of people calling lawyers to get divorced.  Why is that?  People don't like to file for divorce during the holidays or during the summer.  They want to have that one last holiday season or summer together, for themselves or for the kids.
Divorce lawyers usually refer to January and September as "high season," because of the large numbers of new cases.  This is a cautionary tale - make sure, if you are thinking of hiring a lawyer and getting your divorce started, that you really want a divorce and are not just suffering the "January blues."

Cold Weather and Custody Issues

Cold weather has arrived.  Have you worked out the winter logistics to make things good for your child?  It is time to think about winter coats, gloves, hats, mufflers, boots and other gear.  They can be expensive, and are usually outgrown every year.  Who will buy them?  Who will replace them when they get lost?  How will these things get from one house to another when you have custody exchanges?  Will you and your ex have a set at each house?  And what will you do when your child needs to wear the set from your house to your ex's house?  Five minutes of conversation now with your ex can help prevent a miserably cold child as well as arguments between you and your ex down the road.  Know one thing - children lose things - expect that and be prepared to roll with it.  Don't yell at them for being what they are - children.

Report Cards After Divorce

It's that time of year again - report cards!  It would be wise to talk with your ex ahead of time to coordinate on rewards for your child's grades.  After divorce, people sometimes overlook discussions like this, but it is important to your child -- no matter how much he or she may pretend otherwise.  At least have the discussion and try to reach agreement on the rewards to be given your child for each A and B on the report card.  A word of advice: focusing on the positive - giving generous rewards for good grades - is much more effective than punishing for bad grades.
 

Halloween and Special Needs

Do you have a child on the autism spectrum, with sensory issues or other special needs?  Halloween can be unpleasant and uncomfortable for these children, dealing with crowds, scratchy costumes, loud noises, flashing lights and lack of predictability.  BUT -- there are ways to modify your festivities so your child can actually participate and have fun.  See this article from the Autism Society for great advice:
http://support.autism-society.org/site/PageServer?pagename=halloween_tips

How Is Your Child Doing in School After Divorce?

Whether you have been divorced a week or five years, take a moment to reflect on how your child's school year is going.  How are her grades?  Does he like school this year?  Does she have friends?  Is he participating in clubs and activities?  And as a parent, what is your child's happiness score?  Now think about how you might talk with your child and help him or her.  After divorce, a child can still be dealing with things, but not opening up to you about it.  A little intervention now can go a long way.

School Issues and Divorce

Make sure you freely share information with your ex-spouse about your child's school events, both during and after your divorce, even if your ex can easily get this information on his or her own.  Why?  Because if your ex does not know about the event, he or she is not going to attend, and your child will be hurt.  As much as you don't want to spoon-feed information to your ex, I'm sure you don't want your child to feel the sadness of thinking one parent doesn't care about him or her.  And which one is more important - winning a battle or protecting your child from emotional pain?

Put Your Children First in Divorce

When you are going through divorce, step back and look at how your actions will affect your children.  They did not ask to be in this situation.  They have no control over the situation.  And the actions you and your spouse take now will impact their lives more than most anything else.  The children are the innocent victims.  Put their needs and interests first.

One Step Trick to Child Custody and Co-Parenting Issues

It sounds too good to be true, but the author of an article in Parent Dish suggests there is one simple trick to successfully navigating the treacherous waters of child custody and co-parenting issues after divorce. She is a divorced parent, and is trying to figure things out as she goes along, just like millions of us. Things can easily get ugly if we let them, and the bottom line is that the children will suffer when the parents can't figure out how to get along after divorce. We know that we are human, and that we make mistakes, but do we apply the same attitude when our ex spouses also make mistakes? Face it, we all screw up now and then. Admit it, and move on. So, what is the big secret on co-parenting and child custody issues? Simple - give your former spouse the benefit of the doubt. That's it. Don't be a doormat, but also don't waste your time or energy assuming the worst about your former spouse and his or her behavior. Source: http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/17/co-parenting-divorce/