Halloween and Special Needs

Do you have a child on the autism spectrum, with sensory issues or other special needs?  Halloween can be unpleasant and uncomfortable for these children, dealing with crowds, scratchy costumes, loud noises, flashing lights and lack of predictability.  BUT -- there are ways to modify your festivities so your child can actually participate and have fun.  See this article from the Autism Society for great advice:
http://support.autism-society.org/site/PageServer?pagename=halloween_tips

How Is Your Child Doing in School After Divorce?

Whether you have been divorced a week or five years, take a moment to reflect on how your child's school year is going.  How are her grades?  Does he like school this year?  Does she have friends?  Is he participating in clubs and activities?  And as a parent, what is your child's happiness score?  Now think about how you might talk with your child and help him or her.  After divorce, a child can still be dealing with things, but not opening up to you about it.  A little intervention now can go a long way.

Holidays and Custody

It is mid-October.  Fall is in the air.  The leaves are changing.  You want to sip a cup of tea (or a glass of wine) on the deck and savor the moment.  NOT SO FAST!  Have you nailed down your holiday custody and visitation schedule in writing?  A big mistake many people make after divorce is not addressing the holiday schedule issue until right before the holidays.  Then it is often too late to avoid problems, as both parents may have made plans.  Take care of the holiday scheduling now, then enjoy that glass of wine.

Put Your Children First in Divorce

When you are going through divorce, step back and look at how your actions will affect your children.  They did not ask to be in this situation.  They have no control over the situation.  And the actions you and your spouse take now will impact their lives more than most anything else.  The children are the innocent victims.  Put their needs and interests first.

6 Dirty Divorce Tricks

If one spouse is focused on revenge or on maintaining their lifestyle as long as they can, they often resort to less than honorable tactics. One trick is to "conflict out" all the top divorce lawyers in town so they can't represent the other spouse. This is done by have a consultation with these lawyers, so they have learned confidential information, and thus cannot represent the other spouse. A second tactic is to fire the divorce lawyer right before trial. This can cause months of delays, during which a person might still be able to enjoy the lifestyle they will not have after the divorce is done. A third tactic is to transfer assets offshore. Although the judge might order these assets to be split between the spouses, enforcing an American court order in a tiny island in the Caribbean is not easily done. A fourth tactic is to have multiple loans on property, so that it has little or no equity. You would think you would need both spouses to sign the documents for these secondary loans, but I have seen otherwise. A fifth trick is to run up massive debt that your spouse does not know about, that reduces the net worth. These first five dirty divorce tricks are discussed in the articled cited below. I am adding a sixth tactic I have seen used, and have been able to warn clients about before they got burned by it. It is the tactic of seduction. If one spouse does not want the divorce, or they want to delay, or they are jealous that the other spouse has found someone new, they may try this tactic. Here's how it works. The spouse wants to get together with you to try to settle the remaining issues of the divorce. You meet at a bar or restaurant. You have a few drinks. The next thing you know, the two of you have ended up in bed together. This often happens right before a court date. Your spouse then walks in to court and tells the judge the two of you just slept together. The judge dismisses the case on grounds of it not being "irretrievably broken" and you have to refile the divorce and start over. Your spouse laughs all the way out of the court room. You are angry, betrayed and mortified. I've always believed that a word to the wise is sufficient, and that a fool is going to be a fool no matter how many times warned. Now that you are aware of these dirty tricks, you can try to stay one step ahead to prevent them from being used on you.
Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/georgialee-lang/5-of-the-dirtiest-divorce_b_1065735.html

Top 5 Signs Your Marriage is in Trouble

Are you worried that you and your dearly beloved are headed to divorce court? If you are seeing any of the following things, don't ignore it. 1) Facebook messaging with an old lover (sneaking around); 2) Weight gain over 20% (giving up); 3) Sexy new underwear (duh); 4) Slacking on chores (don't care any more); 5) Writing down all costs (getting their ducks in a row). For more information on the Top 5 Signs Your Marriage is in Trouble, read this article.

Til Death Do Us Part - Or 2 Years, Whichever Comes First

It used to be, back in the days of Frank Sinatra and Dean Martin, that people would go to Mexico for a quickie divorce. Now, if the proposed legislation passes, people in Mexico can get a quickie marriage - sort of. The proposed legislation would allow people to decide how long they would be married, with a minimum of two years. They would decide ahead of time what they would do about children, money and other things if the marriage doesn't work out. If, at the end of the time they had decided, they don't want to stay married, then they no longer are. No divorce necessary. At first it may sound crazy, but I think it really sounds quite civilized. Much more civilized than divorce court.

Man Charged With Torching His House Rather Than Give to His Wife in Divorce

Yes, you did read that correctly. A man in Pennsylvania has been charged with arson, insurance fraud and theft by deception for allegedly setting fire to the marital home, which was, under the divorce settlement, to have been sold and the proceeds paid to his ex-wife. The article describes that gas-soaked rags were found in the garage, the walls of which were also soaked with gasoline. He apparently filed an insurance claim on the fire loss. Talk about a series of bad decisions that he will have the rest of his life to regret.