Vacations After Divorce

It's time to be thinking about when and where you will go for vacation this year.  If you are divorced with children, that usually means you will need to consult your child custody plan and your former spouse as part of your summer planning.  Sooner is better than later.  Don't make plans and pay deposits until you are certain.  Early communication and good planning make prevent your vacations from being ruined after divorce.

Getting Remarried? Not So Fast!

If you have been divorced, odds are you will get married again.  But what are the odds of your getting divorced again?  The divorce statistics for subsequent marriages are pretty dismal, actually.  The odds of a first marriage ending in divorce are about 40 to 50 percent.  Second marriage ending in divorce - over 60 percent.  Third marriage -  over 70 percent.  Think you can avoid much of the problem by getting a prenup?  Think again.  The odds of divorce for couples with a prenup are over 80 percent.
Does this mean you are doomed to a life of being alone or living together but never tying the knot?  Not necessarily.  Although they are cautionary, these are merely statistics, and mean next to nothing when applied to a particular case.  No one gets 70 percent divorced.  You will either get 100 percent divorced or not at all.  So how do you beat the odds?
Most importantly, do not rush into marriage soon after divorce.  You need time to get over the failed relationship and the divorce.  You cannot do this by flipping a switch any more than you can make a broken bone heal instantly just by willing it to do so.  Give yourself time to heal, you deserve it.  Also, carefully evaluate what went wrong in your previous marriage(s) and figure out how to not repeat history.  Candidly assess then fix what you need to about yourself.  Get counseling if appropriate.  And finally, don't rush in.

Don't Shut Your Child Out After Divorce

Going through divorce can be a traumatic, stressful experience.  It is human nature to build some walls to protect yourself so you don't get hurt again.  When you do, be careful your walls don't put your child at a distance.  Your child needs you now more than ever.
 

Is It Divorce Time Or Just January Blues?

January and September usually see a huge upspike in the number of people calling lawyers to get divorced.  Why is that?  People don't like to file for divorce during the holidays or during the summer.  They want to have that one last holiday season or summer together, for themselves or for the kids.
Divorce lawyers usually refer to January and September as "high season," because of the large numbers of new cases.  This is a cautionary tale - make sure, if you are thinking of hiring a lawyer and getting your divorce started, that you really want a divorce and are not just suffering the "January blues."

New Year's Resolutions

So how are those New Year's resolutions going?  Given up yet?  Perhaps you need different resolutions.  Try these on for size: 

• One day every week, refuse to complain, criticize or make a single negative comment. 
• Make eye contact and smile at someone every day.
• Keep a gratitude journal, every day writing down ten things for which you are grateful.

These three simple steps can turn your life around.  If your marriage is struggling, you might just be able to avoid a divorce.  If you are already divorced, making these positive changes could help you have better relationships in the future.  Either way, if you make these attitude changes part of your life, you will be a more optimistic, happy person.  And it doesn't cost a cent!

Stay Married Or Get A Divorce?

Happy New Year!  2012 is behind us, and the world did not end.   Did you really think it would?  The holidays are over, and now we are back at work, trying to get caught up on the things that did not get done while everyone was busy with the holiday rush.
Many people take time in January to re-evaluate their lives.  Some decide to lose weight.  Some decide to get a better job.  Others decide to get married or to get a divorce.  If you are having a difficult time making a decision as to whether you should stay in your marriage, talk with a counselor or trusted friend.  Make a list of the pros and cons of staying in the relationship and of ending the relationship.  There are good books available for helping you sort out these questions.  Just remember - only you can make that decision.