Don't Ever Say This When Your Friend Is Divorcing

Your friend pulls you aside and tells you he or she is getting a divorce. What do you say? It is one of those awkward moments, for which it is helpful to have prepared responses. Just as it helps to have a few prepared responses when you know you are going to see a difficult relative at a family get-together, your friends will divorce, so you should think this through ahead of time. When your friends are going through divorce, they do not want you to be judgmental, to make assumptions, to cast blame, to say you never liked the other person, or to minimize what they are experiencing. Knowing what not to say still does not put the right words in your mouth. You may want to let them know you care, or you may just want to get through an uncomfortable social moment unscathed. So, what do you say when your friend is getting a divorce? You acknowledge the difficulty they are experiencing. You withhold judgment, blame and name-calling. You realize how important this event is in their life, without escalating the emotional level. A true friend does not increase the drama. You do not preach or act superior. You remain open-minded and show compassion. Despite what you may think, you could be in their shoes tomorrow.